Living with your family is indeed a blessing and it does have plenty of perks, however, when it comes to living alone by chance — not by choice, it is not always a bad idea. Though your ears often echo with the rhetorical questions like:
“Are you not scared of living alone?”
“How do you kill time living alone?”
“Are you not tired of living alone?”
But if you follow these five principles, you learn to respond to these rhetorical questions with a smile because you don’t have to justify your loneliness to others since such questions pop out from the fear within, floating on the surface of their consciousness, if by chance, they put their feet into your shoes.
Working on five principles can bring ease to living alone
1. No Blame Game
A rule of thumb is ‘no blame game’ for the situation that you have put yourself into. The first thing is acceptance- it’s a signal that you are ready- ready for anything. If your mind is full of ambiguity, you will be needing more effort and time to adjust. On contrary, when your objective is clear, you get clarity and need less effort to push yourself towards your target. Because living alone allows you to spend sufficient time with yourself so you embrace the idea of being comfortable in your own skin. Consequently, you make better decisions for yourself. You are more likely to figure out the solution to your problems or answers to some important questions of your life. You are often credited by people for having a positive aura around you. It is due to a fact that you are focused and have less ambiguity in mind. You always know what your next step would be.
You can achieve this ‘No blame game’ level when you stop comparing your situation with others. Dissatisfaction comes when we make comparisons, otherwise, nobody can measure the emotional baggage the other soul is carrying through life. Assessing someone’s condition is not possible even by putting your feet into his shoes- you can gauge its intensity when you are in that situation in reality. Therefore, don’t waste your life comparing it with others.
Working on the ‘no blame game’ principle makes you explore the true meaning of being social. When you are in the company of others, instead of behaving like a recluse, you make them feel your presence through your full involvement. You often have seen people wearing hand-free, Bluetooth, taking selfies, or busy typing text on their cell phones, when they are in the gathering- this is highly unethical, against the norms of social gathering. However, you know how to spend quality time with family and friends. That is the reason, when you are with them- you make them feel your presence. Moreover, your social life cannot be assessed by counting the number of friends you have, but it depends on the quality time you spend with the limited number of people from your social gathering.
2. Be the king/queen of your kingdom- not a captive to your loneliness
When you get the ownership of your territory, you set your own rules. Even feelings of stress, anxiety, deprivation, or loss seem like trespassing. For this, you have to live with integrity. You have no fears because there is nothing with you to hide from people. You must choose your family and friends carefully, based on who has lifted you in your low times, economically as well as ethically.
Living alone makes you to see through a different lens. It gives you a different perspective. When you are crowded by people, you start depending on their decisions. Your subconscious mind is fed by people’s beliefs to such an extent that it becomes quite impossible for you to identify your individuality. On the other hand, if you are fed by your solitude, you have your own beliefs so you become an independent problem solver and learn real- life skills. This is how you become self-reliant. Because your ‘self’ is fed by the strong beliefs that you set in your solitude.
3. You need surveillance
Monitoring your daily routine and general behavior keeps your self-care antennas active 24/7 due to which you can get the right quantity of feelings of some kind at the time of need. For instance, when your antennas detect some kind of anger in your behavior, it prepares your brain to get busy with some kind of work, or if it detects any feelings of loss, it gets your brain ready to make a call to some loved ones.
Moreover, you do what is right even when no one is watching you- no matter how hard it is because you are under God’s surveillance. When you supervise your behavior, there are fewer secrets with you- this is something that makes you daring.
In addition to that, nobody from outside will come to protect your domain. Therefore, you have to safeguard your rights too to keep you protected from the toxic people of your surroundings. There must be some lens that monitors your dealings with others because at times, living alone can put you in serious trouble and you cannot justify yourself until you get good surveillance.
Sometimes you don’t like a meeting or making new friends. It’s not because you don’t like the idea of being social but it may have another interpretation of the people living a solo life and that is, you may not want to cause more trouble to yourself. That is why you are being selective in making a relationship with people.
4. Feed your loneliness with creativity
Normally, you may feel lonely from time to time. You may have experienced the same feelings when you are surrounded by family and friends. Sometimes, you feel lonely even in the company of ten people. The vital part is how quickly you overcome that phase. Such a moment demands creativity.
You will stay healthy, physically and spiritually, if you feed your loneliness with some constructive elements which can be in any form. Sometimes, you feel good talking to someone on phone, sometimes making a new dish in the kitchen gives you pleasure, sometimes you get busy drawing something on a canvas, sometimes you feel accomplished making some sense out of bare words on your laptop screen as I am busy right now or there are times when you feel connected spending time with your plants in the backyard. Whatever the constructive element you choose for yourself, its impact on your mental health is long-lasting.
Consequently, this creativity makes you focused and you learn how to be responsible by responding to the alarm that you set up for each morning, you learn how to be organized by bringing a balance between your work and life, and you learn how to spend money within your budget. Thus you get to learn real life skills when you embrace the idea of living alone.
5. Be your motivator
When there is no one around you who afflicts your mood swings or who could create a stifling and crippling environment with unhealthy criticism, your only opponent is your ‘self’ then. If you win from your ‘self’ nothing can ever defeat you and you stay mentally strong.
You often undergo depression when your loved ones get judgmental and criticize you or your behavior. While you are living alone, you learn how to love yourself and you appreciate your small deeds. The time comes when you don’t need approval from society.
To motivate yourself, you can display your achievements, no matter how big or small they are, in any corner of your home where you spend most of your time. Such a reminder emits positive vibes to reboot your morale. Besides that, you can start journaling to track your achievements which, in turn, can give you a chance for self-reflection. Moreover, you can start blogging to help others learn through your experiences. By doing this, you will not only motivate yourself but become a means of motivation to others too.
Let me remind you there are still many people out there, waiting for a signal or aha-moment after reading your blog post. What are you waiting for!!!
